AUGUSTA, Ga. — There are wonderments about the Masters that never cease to amaze, like why people don’t save their money and simply eat a bowl of sugar instead of a couple Krispy Kreme donuts.

There’s also the matter of those passionate patrons who grab hold of their chairs and are lined up outside the gates along Washington Road and Berckmans Road — by 5 a.m., for goodness sakes. On Sunday, that’s 5 hours 34 minutes before the first tee time.

Of course, maybe wrapped inside their warm sentiments about the tournament is a deep knowledge of all things Masters. Just maybe they could have answered or reacted to some of these curiosities for me:

Forget whatever Geoff Ogilvy does in Round 4. Just how in the name of Jimmy Demaret can he play three days without making a birdie at either the par-5 13th or par-5 15th?

Then again, he hasn’t made a birdie at the par-5 eighth, either, and he’s only made one at the par-5 second. Has anyone told him that the ball is supposedly going so far these days that these holes are reached in two?

Perhaps the Aussie could confer with Zach Johnson, who owns a green jacket thanks to his expertise on the Augusta National par-5s. He played them bogey-free and went 11-under in his 2007 conquest and is 4-under on the par-5s through three rounds this year.

But before we suggest that to Ogilvy, this has just been uncovered: Johnson did bogey the par-5 eighth in Round 2. It’s his first-ever bogey of a par-5 in the Masters.

Speaking of Masters history, Adam Scott will break 70 at Augusta National. We just don’t know when. He came perilously close Saturday, a 2-under 70, which matches his best score in 25 rounds at Augusta National.

The good news is, Michael Campbell has two years left on his Masters exemption for winning the 2005 US Open.

The bad news is, Michael Campbell has missed the cut in all eight trips to Augusta National, where he has a 75.25 scoring average.

Maybe Campbell can turn in the remaining two years left on his Masters exemption for 25,000 FedEx points.

When all these players say they made a “great putt that didn’t go in,” it makes me shake my head. You wonder what superlative they would use to describe a putt that actually does go in.

Putting things in reverse for a moment, J.B. Holmes can hit it from one area code to another, but he’s made a pair of bogeys at the par-5 13th.

I’ve lost track. Does Gary Player do 1,000 push-ups every day or is it 10,000?

Either way, it’s a daily sum that’s more than what John Daly has done in a lifetime.

I’d be willing to bet that when Bobby Jones and Clifford Roberts sat down to discuss their visions for the Masters, it didn’t include any conversation about “Masters Moon Pies.”

Which isn’t to say I don’t wholeheartedly endorse them. Fact is, they’re terrific.

A recent poll of PGA Tour fans revealed that 67 percent would love for Sergio Garcia to return to competition, while 27 percent admitted that they can’t remember him. The remaining six percent think Garcia should reunite with Martina Hingis and join a World Team Tennis team as a mixed doubles entry.

The truth is, who needs Garcia when you have Andres Romero?

Trevor Immelman’s Masters history dates back to his first appearance, in 1999. He played that year thanks to an exemption for the U.S. Amateur Public Links Championship and don’t you get all teary-eyed when you think of Immelman coming over from South Africa to play golf on all of America’s great blue-collar, hard-pan local munis, just to discover what the middle-class golfers in this country are like.

Nonsense, of course. And it’s proof positive that the U.S. Golf Association needs to re-think that championship. Immelman probably hasn’t played a hole of golf on a public course ever.

Back to those who can hit it a mile. Just what is it about the par-5 second hole that confounds Bubba Watson? He’s made three straight bogeys there.

While on the topic of Watson, how about a round of applause for the Florida Panhandle and that trio of golfers who all made the cut here. Watson, Boo Weekley and Heath Slocum. Pretty impressive.

Care to suggest to Masters officials that they present a camouflage hunting jacket to the low scorer among them?

Retief Goosen finished bogey-bogey in Saturday’s third round and that pretty much took him out of any possible Masters victory. It was disappointing, though he did extend to 11 the number of weekend rounds he’s played at the Masters in par or better.

Given that his scoring average is 69.5 on Thursdays at the Masters and 74.64 in the other rounds, perhaps Justin Rose can drop into the suggestion box inside Augusta National a thought about it being turned into an 18-hole shoot-out.

On Thursday, of course.